IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Even when poor countries get help from rich countries, hunger is still an issue. Discuss probable causes and solutions. support your answer with specific reason and example.

It is apparent that poor countries development many countries because they get help from some rich countries.
However
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, hunger is still happening
due to
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poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 crowd in some
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 can't access help from other nations.
This
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 essay will discuss about causes and provide solutions below.
To begin
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 with, the cause of hunger in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 society is that the proportion of poor
community
Check wording
people
show examples
 is larger than rich people, which is why the problems are never fixed finish even have a lot of rich people trying to help them.
For example
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, in India, there will be starvation owning to poor
nation
Check wording
poverty
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every day , and the government can't maintain an environment for everyone.
In addition
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, in some people in Asia, have amounted of society has grown more than the geography of
those
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 community.
Such
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 as China were in the world would say
this
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 country has a lot of
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
going
Verb problem
growing
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up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every day , which would affect the
resources
Use synonyms
 because not enough for them.
However
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, the solutions actually have many different ways to solve the problems.
Firstly
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, the government should help and give options for
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 population not have enough savings because money can buy food and other things important to them.
Moreover
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, the government should plan for the future , especially, the number
having
Verb problem
of people with
show examples
 poor
crowd
Check wording
health
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 is increasing.
For instance
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, prepare
resources
Use synonyms
 for the next generation
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they should have enough food and education. In conclusion, the causes of hunger in
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
 are not only food or
resources
Use synonyms
 , but actually it happens because some family can't access the
resources
Use synonyms
 for their lives. Compared to
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 population, they can afford whatever they want.
On the other hand
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, the solutions should support those who have problems straight away and be fixed as soon as possible.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main ideas and support them with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each main point to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to make your writing clearer.
task achievement
You identified main causes and solutions of hunger, which shows you understand the topic.
task achievement
You attempted to provide specific examples, such as India, which is a good start.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Infrastructure
  • 2. Corruption
  • 3. Logistical challenges
  • 4. Agricultural practices
  • 5. Sustainable farming
  • 6. Environmental factors
  • 7. Climate change
  • 8. Political instability
  • 9. Civil unrest
  • 10. Food shortages
  • 11. Dependency
  • 12. Resource management
  • 13. Distribution networks
  • 14. Crop diversification
  • 15. Disaster preparedness
  • 16. Early warning systems
  • 17. Political stability
  • 18. Peace treaties
  • 19. Family planning
  • 20. Food security
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