IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn language in childhood. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

There is an opinion
claims that
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that claims
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 people should learn
foreign
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a foreign
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language
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 in childhood, because most
of
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apply
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kids are good at
foreign
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learning foreign
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language
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languages
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 learning in general,
compare
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compared
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with
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to
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 adults. I totally agree
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this
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with this
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 perspective
base
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based
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 on my experience. Generally, most
of
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apply
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children learn a second
language
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 faster than adults. One of the most important
reason
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reasons
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 is that they have more
time
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 to focus on studying. They have little things to worry about
in
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apply
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each day, which
save
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saves
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 plenty of
time
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 to
practice
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 what they learn.
Therefore
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, as a
full
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full-time
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time
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 student, they could
practice
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 and revise what they learn in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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improve
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improves
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 their
language
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studying
Replace the word
study
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everyday
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every day
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.
For instance
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, young students could spend more than one hour easily on
practice
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 what they learn, in comparison
of
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to
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 adults who need to spend most of
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time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
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to work
Wrong verb form
working
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 every day.
and
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apply
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in
Fix capitalization
In
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 their spare
time
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, they have to do other things cooking or house chores
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
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 than studying.
This
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 fully
occypied schedual
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occupied schedule
make
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makes
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them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 really difficult to learn a
language
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 systematically. To master a foreign
language
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 is
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time comsuming
Correct your spelling
time-consuming
.
That is
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 why it is
favorable
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favourable
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 to study a foreign
language
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 as young as possible. Because people should spend more effort on each
catagories
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category
 of
language
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.
Such
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 as
grammer
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grammar
, speak, or even understand the
backgroudn
Correct your spelling
background
 stories. As a young kid, they have more
time
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 to do
this
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 training.
For example
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,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 is common
sence
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sense
 that most
of
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apply
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young age international students talk
as
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like
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 native
speaker
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speakers
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, because they
practice
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 those
expression
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expressions
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 for a long
time
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.
However
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, the adult trainees
have
Verb problem
find it
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 difficult to correct their pronunciation or remember the
grammer
Correct your spelling
grammar
 rules, which
delay
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delays
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 their progress of improvement. In conclusion, young people have their
advantages
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advantage
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 to learn a foreign
language
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. It is reasonable
that
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apply
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to start
to study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 it as young as possible.

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Task Achievement
The introduction should clearly state your opinion, e.g., 'I agree that learning a foreign language in childhood is better.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer and more logical sections for your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
Task Achievement
Check your grammar and spelling for mistakes, such as 'occupy' instead of 'occypied' and 'grammar' instead of 'grammer.'
Task Achievement
Give more specific examples of successful language learners or studies that support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly, such as by using linking words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally.'
Positive Aspect
You express a clear opinion on the topic, which is great for task response.
Positive Aspect
You provide reasons explaining why children learn better, which is important for your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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