IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions that result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions that result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption, alongside that of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in Australian households.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 heating uses the highest proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
, it is not the main reason for
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other appliances are responsible for the highest proportion of these
emissions
Use synonyms
. Heating devices consume most of the total
energy
Use synonyms
, at 42%,
although
Linking Words
 they only produce 15% of the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another major factor in both
energy
Use synonyms
 usage and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 is water heating, at 30% and 32% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 less than half of the
energy
Use synonyms
 is used by cooling, lighting, refrigeration, and other appliances, the amount of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 generated by them is 68%. Lighting, refrigeration, and other appliances generate
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 almost two times more than their
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption (8%, 14%, and 28% respectively). Cooling mirrors the trend of water heating, the
energy
Use synonyms
 usage (2%) and
gas
Use synonyms
 emission (3%) are almost the same.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, in contrast".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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