Some people think is better for children to be teached at home. Others disagree. Discuss the advantages of both and give your own opinion

Alot
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A lot
of people think
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
better for
children
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to study at
School
Use synonyms
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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at home . which I agree , in
this
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essay I will be
clearifying
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clarifying
why
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
I agree using 2 reasons. At first , I believe that
children
Use synonyms
need to communicate with other
kids
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
give
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gives
show examples
them the skills of working together and solving problems . In fact , many
children
Use synonyms
improve their skills through going to
school
Use synonyms
and
conect
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connecting
with other
children
Use synonyms
. A study published in New
Yourk university
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York University
showed that the
percenage
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percentage
of
children
Use synonyms
who communicate with other
kids
Use synonyms
learn faster than being
teached
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taught
at home .
Linking Words
secondly
Fix capitalization
Secondly
show examples
,
Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
more convenient for the parents to take a healthy break from
thier
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their
kids
Use synonyms
.
Although
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some parents prefer to teach
thier
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their
children
Use synonyms
them selves
Use the right word
themselves
show examples
. Yet ,
somtimes
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sometimes
they could
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
control
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
kids
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because of the long time they spend together .
Thats
Use the right word
That's
show examples
why
school
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is the best way for both parents and
children
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. Adding to that , throughout covid
19
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COVID-19
era
Punctuation problem
era,
show examples
many studies
admited
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admitted
that the rate of
children
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who had developed dropped
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
school
Use synonyms
time . In conclusion ,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
better for
children
Use synonyms
to be
teached
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taught
at
school
Use synonyms
so they can communicate and
conect
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connect
with other fellows and take a
qualitiy
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quality
break from their family .

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task achievement
Make sure to start with a clear introduction with a statement on both sides. This improves your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to help your ideas flow better, like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'. This helps with coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling errors like 'teached' (should be 'taught') and 'conect' (should be 'connect'). This helps clarify your writing.
task achievement
You have provided clear reasons for your opinion which shows critical thinking.
task achievement
The use of examples, like the study from New York University, strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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