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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the main reason why student chose a particular university in the UK, in 1997 and 2007.

The chart below show the main reason why student chose a particular university in the UK, in 1997 and 2007.
The pie charts provide key information about the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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 students selecting a particular
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
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 in the United Kingdom between 1997 and 2007. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that in 1987, about a third of students
choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
 based on suitable degree courses. Both
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of resources and good sports,social activities were almost equivalent in a fifth.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of teaching and close to
parental
Correct article usage
the parental
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 home had the lowest part.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the year 1987, suitable degree courses
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest reason,
while
Linking Words
 the
second- largest
Use the right word
second-largest
show examples
 reason was the
quality
Use synonyms
 of resources at 21%, sports and activities
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 around
a
Correct article usage
apply
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20%,
quality
Use synonyms
 of teaching and close to home were 15% and 10% respectively. In terms of students choosing universities in 2007, the suitable degree courses had a slight increase,
while
Linking Words
 the
quality
Use synonyms
 of resources and good sports had a major decrease,
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of teaching increased to 18%,and close to parental home showed
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 12% increase.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quality with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reason
  • choose
  • university
  • students
  • reputation
  • job
  • graduation
  • courses
  • important
  • subject
  • location
  • closer
  • home
  • area
  • attractive
  • financial
  • support
  • significant
  • factor
  • tuition
  • fees
  • aid
  • scholarships
  • costs
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