IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

today, students can benefits from widers information through internet. some people think that tradition schooling disappear soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, the usage of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 has increased over the past decades. Some individuals think that
students
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 can access a variety of
information
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 from the
internet
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, and traditional schooling will disappear soon. I disagree with
this
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 notion. I think school provides social values, encourages them, and proper understanding as well. There are various reasons why I think traditional
schools
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 never lose their identity, because of
providing
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provide
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 benefits to the
students
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. The first and foremost is that school is the first place where a child interacts with a new world
,
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apply
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 and forms friendships. So,
schools
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 play an essential role in the life of
students
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 where they learn about social norms
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such
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, such
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 as how to behave in the community, and communicate with them effectively. They can not learn these things by accessing
information
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 through
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 provides a lot of
information
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 to the
students
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, but they can learn properly in a disciplined and structured environment.
Therefore
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, traditional
schools
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 are the best for
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students
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students,
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 where they can enhance their interest in difficult subjects
such
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 as science or mathematics.
Furthermore
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, mostly
internet
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 sites provide vague data, and these sites misrepresent themselves by providing incorrect
information
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.
That is
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 why
,
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apply
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 traditional methods of learning are essential for the proper understanding of different subjects. In a class, they engage in various activities,
do
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and do
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 face-to-face interaction with their teachers when they are unable to understand anything.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the use of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is increasing at a higher rate, but I think technology will never replace traditional learning because of its own importance.
Schools
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 teach them to behave socially, motivate and increase their understanding to learn difficult subjects.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your viewpoint in the introduction and summarize it strongly in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words or phrases to connect your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points about traditional schooling.
content
You clearly expressed your opinion against the idea that traditional schooling will disappear.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • benefit
  • information
  • traditional
  • schooling
  • disappear
  • agree
  • disagree
  • internet
  • flexible
  • personalized
  • structured
  • environment
  • interaction
  • social
  • skills
  • education
  • research
  • knowledge
  • profession
  • qualifications
  • certifications
  • replace
  • learning
  • critical thinking
  • evaluate
  • sources
  • misinformation
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