IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Traffic congestion is a growing problem in many of the world's major cities. Explain some possible reasons for this problem, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion is becoming an increasingly serious issue in many big cities around the world. Several factors contribute to
this
Linking Words
 growing problem, but there are
also
Linking Words
 some effective strategies that can help decrease it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will be dedicated to
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both aspects. There might be many reasons for
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion, but the
outstanding
Correct word choice
most significant
show examples
 ones are population growth and poor
traffic
Use synonyms
 management. As the number of
people
Use synonyms
 increases, it leads to a higher number of vehicles.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for some
people
Use synonyms
, cars are the symbol of status, which can lead to having more than one car per person and 2 to 3 cars for a family. And it worsens another matter, since
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the cities were not originally designed for so many cars. There is a huge lack of parking spaces
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as the problem of narrow roads, which is costly to change. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, several steps should be implemented.
Firstly
Linking Words
, better public transport systems and more convenient and affordable transport can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more often and
thus
Linking Words
 reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams.
Secondly
Linking Words
, since Covid-19, many
people
Use synonyms
 are used to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from home. So, promoting remote work can help to solve the problem. In conclusion, even though
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion is an increasing issue, it can be solved by improving public transportation and encouraging remote work.

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task achievement
The essay has clear ideas, but you can expand on the reasons and provide more examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words (such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in addition') more often to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which guides the reader through your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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