Nowdays in many countries the proportion of older population is higher than that of younger people. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

resent

Use the right word

recent

show examples

years, many countries around the world have experienced a growth in the number of elderly

people

Use synonyms

compared to younger individuals.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

argue in

favor

Use the right word

favour

show examples

, I personally oppose

this

Linking Words

notion.

To begin

Linking Words

with,having more older

people

Use synonyms

can bring some benefits

older

Punctuation problem

. Older

show examples

citizens often have a lot of experience and knowledge,which can be useful in different areas

such

Linking Words

as education,history, and advising younger

genarations

Correct your spelling

generations

For example

Linking Words

,retired professionals can mentor young workers or take part in community services.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, older

people

Use synonyms

usually live a

peasefullife

Correct your spelling

peaceful life

and contribute to a stable and respectful society.

However

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

several disadvantages. First of all, a large elderly

populations

Fix the agreement mistake

population

show examples

puts pressure on the healthcare system. older

people

Use synonyms

usually need more medical care, and

this

Linking Words

can increase the cost of health

sevices

Correct your spelling

services

Secondly

Linking Words

,if there are fewer young

people

Use synonyms

,the workforce becomes smaller.

This

Linking Words

can slow down economic growth and development because there are not enough

people

Use synonyms

to do important jobs.

For example

Linking Words

, many companies may face labour shortages, especially in industries that need physical

stength

Correct your spelling

strength

or technology skills.

In addition

Linking Words

, younger

people

Use synonyms

often bring fresh ideas and creativity, which is important for progress and innovation. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

older

people

Use synonyms

have valuable experience and can play useful roles in society, I believe that having a larger proportion of elderly individuals compared to the youth causes more problems than benefits. It can

effect

Use the right word

affect

show examples

the economy

healthcare

Punctuation problem

, healthcare

show examples

, and the future development of a country.

makemoneyizzy16

Jul 30, 2025

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Task Achievement

Clearly state your position in the introduction to help the reader understand your main point.

Coherence and Cohesion

Add more linking words or phrases to help connect your ideas better and make the text flow smoothly.

Task Achievement

Use clear examples to support your points and explain them in a simple way so that the reader can understand easily.

Task Achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes your main idea well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

239 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
elderly
younger generation
mentorship
social cohesion
geriatric care
public services
infrastructure
social welfare
pensions
healthcare costs
economic productivity
innovation
education
job training

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Nowdays in many countries the proportion of older population is higher than that of younger people. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Governemts should spend more on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Toipc 15: Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situation by others in the same age. This called ‘Peer Pressure’. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Many cities around the world are facing serious traffic congestion problems. Discuss the main causes of traffic congestion and suggest effective solutions.

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house/ flat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter •explain the reasons for the noise •apologise •describe what action you will take