Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your

There is no denying the fact that there are inhabitants who support the country to be concerned about the
health
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sector , and some of them want the
government
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to take care
with
Change preposition
of
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the
taxpayers
Check wording
taxpayers'
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money.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the important thing is that we have to pay attention to the taxes. There is
also
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an argument that says we must focus on the
health
Use synonyms
sector
instead
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of taxes.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, focusing on the
health
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sector is crucial or critical because the
government
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should enhance
the
Check wording
efforts the
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reducing
Replace the word
reduce
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diseases and protect
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
In other words
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,
health
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is essential ; without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
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, people will not be able to study or work and etc.
In addition
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, Access to healthcare should not depend on personal wealth. Governments have a responsibility to provide medical
services
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such
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as Medicines and treatments for all citizens or inhabitants.
For example
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, poor and weak people.
On the other hand
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, taxes are the foundation, so the
government
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or the country should invest in public
services
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since
Punctuation problem
, since
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it will have a positive effect on us in the future. It is
also
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possible to say that education creates future doctors, engineers and soldiers. Without a strong system , healthcare and other sectors will
also
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suffer.
Moreover
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, roads, electricity, clean water, and public transportation are essential for daily life and economic growth.
For instance
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, in some countries , these
services
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more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
critical than improving hospitals. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that the
government
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and country , or even the companies, must make a balance in all
services
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that will be useful and beneficial for the citizens.

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Task Response
Your introduction needs to clearly outline both views and your opinion more directly. Try to make your main idea clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs flow better. Use linking words to connect your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
Try to provide more specific examples or details to support your ideas. This will help your points to be clearer and stronger.
Task Response
You presented both views on the topic, which is good for showing understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main idea of your essay.
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