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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The bar chart illustrates the ratio of three kinds of
tourists
Use synonyms
 to a museum between 1997 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of three types of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to a museum followed an upward trend over the given
period
Use synonyms
, with some
fluctuating
Use the right word
fluctuations
show examples
. The
adult
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 were the highest, whilst the opposite was true for special
exhibition
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1997 to 2002,
adult
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
reached
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 highest figures during
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
. In 1997,
adult
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 were over 300,000
people
Use synonyms
 at 300,100
people
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
more
Verb problem
was more
show examples
 than 2 times higher than
visitors
Use synonyms
 under 15 (120,000
people
Use synonyms
) , more than 10 times higher than special
exhibition
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 (28,000
people
Use synonyms
). From 1997 to 2002,
adult
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 and special
exhibition
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rose slightly from 300,100 and 28,000 to 302,200 and 29,200, respectively.
Tourists
Use synonyms
 who were under 15 witnessed a
noticeably
Replace the word
noticeable
show examples
 drop to 110,000 in 2002. Moving to the
two
Correct word order
last two
show examples
last
Linking Words
Use synonyms
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
,
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 reached
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 peak at 400,500 in 2007
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 98,3
people
Use synonyms
 higher than in 2002. During 2002 to 2007,
tourists
Use synonyms
 under 15 continued to fall from 110,000 to 82,300
people
Use synonyms
, which was the only category
decrease
Verb problem
to decrease
show examples
through
Change preposition
during
show examples
 every
period
Use synonyms
. Special
exhibition
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 rose gradually to 42,000 in 2012, which
2,800
Verb problem
was 2,800
show examples
 higher than 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, visitors, period, adult, exhibition, people with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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