IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

It is now possible for researchers to study the behavior of young children in an attempt to predict whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think crime is determined by genetics? Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

There are many different opinions about
this
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 topic in today’s world.
However
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, I strongly believe that if researchers
got to
Verb problem
can
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 repair
Correct article usage
the
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behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
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 of young
children
Punctuation problem
children,
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 it is going to be good, because it brings real value and makes
people
Use synonyms
’s lives better. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my reasons and support them with clear examples. First of all,
wan
Correct word choice
young
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 children have no
criminal
Correct word choice
apply
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idea
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
what it
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 is going to make.
This
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 is important because it affects society in a positive way.
For example
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, many
people
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 who follow
this
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idea
Use synonyms
 have seen real improvements in their lives,
such
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 as better opportunities or healthier relationships. To illustrate
this
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, studies have shown that applying
this
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idea
Use synonyms
 often leads to more success and happiness. Another reason why I believe
this
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 is true is that it reflects real-life experience. Take,
for example
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, situations where
people
Use synonyms
 face challenges. When they follow
this
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idea
Use synonyms
, they often find better solutions.
This
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 shows that my opinion is not only logical but
also
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 practical and helpful for most
people
Use synonyms
 in today’s world. In conclusion, I believe that if children have noon of criminal
is
Check wording
record is
show examples
 the best choice because it is based on real-life benefits and clear examples. I hope more
people
Use synonyms
 will see the value of
this
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idea
Use synonyms
 and support it in the future.

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task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clear and easy to follow. Use more simple sentences to express your thoughts clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly with linking words, so the essay flows better from one point to another.
task achievement
Provide specific examples that relate directly to your points. This will help support your ideas and arguments more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your main argument and your conclusion summarizes your key points effectively.
content
You demonstrate a strong belief in your ideas, which adds passion to your writing.
content
You attempt to provide examples, showing an understanding of the importance of support in your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • genetics
  • behavior
  • research
  • predict
  • criminal
  • determine
  • environment
  • support
  • education
  • community
  • programs
  • poverty
  • violence
  • role models
  • choices
  • outcome
  • intervention
  • decisions
  • children
  • future
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