IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Some argue that living in a country that forces
people
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 to speak a foreign
language
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 may cause serious social
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and practical problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because communication
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
 may affect daily
life
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 and
work
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People
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 who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in foreign countries are not able to enjoy their
life
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 because of
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language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 barrier.
People
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 are struggling to master the
language
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 that the locals use
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 each individuals have their own reasons why they are struggling
;
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
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, they do not have time to study, they cannot afford to buy a course to study the
language
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 because they cannot learn the
language
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 by themself.
Hence
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,
this
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 will make their
life
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 harder
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they will have difficulties in speaking and explaining things to the residents.
For example
Linking Words
, many foreigners
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are living in Indonesia are having issues when ordering
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 in a restaurant. Not being able to comprehend the
language
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 where they live will
also
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 affect their
work
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. The number one reason
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why they
work
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 in a foreign country in the first place is because foreign countries offer more income, but they are forgetting to
also
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 learn their
language
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.
This
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 will not only affect their daily
life
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, but
also
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 their
work
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.
This
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 may result
them
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in them
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to be
Wrong verb form
being
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 fired from their
work
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Indonesians who are working in Japan are fired
due to
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unable
Correct word choice
their inability
show examples
 to speak Japanese clearly
, many
Punctuation problem
. Many
show examples
people
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 of
Indonesia
Use the right word
Indonesians
show examples
 who
work
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 there only understand the theory of the
language
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, but they are not able to communicate clearly in Japanese. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with the statement because
language
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barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
 can make
people
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's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and
work
Use synonyms
 harder.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it can be stronger. Try to rephrase the statement you agree with in a more positive way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check subject-verb agreement. For example, it should be 'People who live...' instead of 'People who lives...'.
coherence and cohesion
Add more linking words to connect your points better. For example, use 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore' to help the flow between ideas.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which helps make your argument stronger.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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