IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information on the number of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.

The table below gives information on the number of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.
The diagram illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how many people in Australia
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 the seven most popular destinations
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 between 1999 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
numberof
Correct your spelling
number of
 Australian
tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 to all seven countries increased over
ten
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
years
Use the right word
ten-year
show examples
 period from 1999 to 20009. China had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 growth rate,
while
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 growth rate. And New
Zeland
Use the right word
Zealand
show examples
 was a popular
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 in two years. New
Zeeland
Use the right word
Zealand
show examples
 topped with 500,700
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 in 1999, rising to 1,064,00 in 2009, going up by 113%.
Although
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States, which tended to climb from 300,000 to 400,000,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the growth was only 33%,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the lowest in the table.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • destination
  • popular
  • visited
  • number
  • people
  • increase
  • decrease
  • visitors
  • overall
  • indicate
  • interest
  • travelers
  • preferences
  • growth
  • loss
  • steady
  • comparison
  • significant
  • data
  • trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: