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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows information about students studying at an Australian university in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows information about students studying at an Australian university in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given table provides data about the number of female
students
Use synonyms
 who studied in an Australian university in 6 different departments in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Humanities and Education departments had the highest proportion of female
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Information Technology and Engineering were male-dominated.
In contrast
Linking Words
, departments
such
Linking Words
 as Physics, IT, and Engineering had the highest percentages of
students
Use synonyms
 born outside Australia and with a non-English first language.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2009, 72% of females applied to the department of humanities, where 12% non-English applicants studied ,
together with
Linking Words
 20% of
students
Use synonyms
 who were originally from other countries. The second most popular department among women was education , with 68% of women
students
Use synonyms
, 16% of non-English and 23% of
students
Use synonyms
 born outside of Australia. The third one was the science department , having fewer applications (52%);
however
Linking Words
, there were more
students
Use synonyms
 from abroad (31%).
Whereas
Linking Words
 , the area of physics, IT and engineering had the highest percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who were from overseas , with the indicators showing 56%,56%, and 48%, respectively; though, they had a small percentage of female
students
Use synonyms
 and were male-dominated.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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