the charts belw give information on the location and type of dance in twon

the charts belw give information on the location and type of dance in twon
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the charts belw give information on the location and type of dance in twon
The
pie
Use synonyms
chart and bar chart illustrate information about
types
Correct article usage
the types
show examples
of dance classes young
people
Use synonyms
are attending and data on the location in a town in Australia are currently attending.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Private
studios
Use synonyms
have the highest
in
Check wording
percentage in
show examples
the
pie
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the lowest was in college-based
studios
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
were in Ballet,
while
Linking Words
a few of them were in Tap. In the
pie
Use synonyms
chart, the Private
studios
Use synonyms
have
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
48%, it almost half of the
pie
Use synonyms
. The School halls have at 24%, the community halls and other has at 18%, and the lowest was in college-based
studios
Use synonyms
at 10%. In types of dance classes. The number of
people
Use synonyms
interested in Ballet is 900
people
Use synonyms
, under 11 have 300 children, and 600
people
Use synonyms
in teenagers between 11 and 16. The tap has 450
people
Use synonyms
under 11,
while
Linking Words
410 children by 11 and 16
age
Rephrase
years old
show examples
. The number of kids they age under 11 was 300,
while
Linking Words
the number of teenagers aged between 11 and 16 was 510.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, people, studios with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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