Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Mobile phones nowadays contain essential features and
also
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entertainment. There has been a large growth
seen
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apply
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in the usage of smartphones among youngsters. There are several reasons behind
this
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situation
and
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, and
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I find
this
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development more beneficial than negative. Both the reasons and my view
is
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are
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elaborated
further
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. The first reason for the overuse of smart devices by youngsters
are
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is
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the social benefits they provide. A
smart phone
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smartphone
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connected to the internet opens up large possibilities, from creating new friends to communicating with them over social media.
For instance
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, a child in my neighbourhood chats for hours with his school friends on Facebook and
also
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spends time on
video sharing
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video-sharing
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applications.
Moreover
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, mobile gaming, especially multiplayer games, is another major reason for
this
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situation. Children play different kinds of games on mobile for
the
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apply
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entertainment purposes, and they
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get involve
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involve
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involved
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themselves
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apply
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in games in
such
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a manner that they forget about
the
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apply
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time and other responsibilities.
However
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, I believe that smartphones have
also
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increased the knowledge of pupils. They have developed some important social skills,
such
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as communication,
team
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teamwork
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work and many more, by allowing them to work and play in groups, without the restriction of distance.
In addition
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, children can learn through the internet by watching online videos and reading articles, which ultimately helps them in their studies
as well as
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language skills.
For example
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, whenever my niece
requires
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wants
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to know something, she searches it online and finds out.
Moreover
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, multiplayer online gaming improves their multitasking ability
and
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, and
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it
also
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gives them a competitive environment.
Overall
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, I agree that the overuse of smartphones on a regular basis is harmful for children, but if given proper guidance, mobile phones can
also
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help them in learning some
life-long
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lifelong
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skills.

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task achievement
Your ideas are clear and relevant, but adding more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve linking phrases between your ideas to make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph tightly supports your main point for clarity and focus.
task achievement
Your introduction gives a good overview of the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You have strong points about social benefits and knowledge gain from smartphones.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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