IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You experienced an incident on public transport that caused you distress. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter ▪ describe the incident ▪ explain how this incident affected you ▪ suggest what could be done about it

Dear Sir/Mam, I am writing
this
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 letter to regard in an incident that took place on the transit
bus
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 on 7
Feburary
Correct your spelling
February
 around 7 PM.
While
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 I was travelling
to
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apply
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back home from the station. As I boarded
into
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apply
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the
bus
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, the fare
bus
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 pass scanning was not working even though I already had
valid
Correct article usage
a valid
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 monthly
, I
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pass, I
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 had to
purcahse
Correct your spelling
purchase
an extra ticket. To resolve
this
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 issue, when I spoke to the
bus
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Use synonyms
driver
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driver,
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 he just brushed me off and told me either buy a ticket or get off
from
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apply
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the
bus
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. At that moment, I felt humiliated by the
driver
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. Not only with me, but
also
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 the
driver
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 was behaving rudely with every person on the
bus
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. Even after purchasing the ticket twice, I was given
broken
Correct article usage
a broken
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 seat.
Although
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 I have been travelling with your transit for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 long time,
this
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 trip left me with disappointment and
embarrassement
Correct your spelling
embarrassment
. I kindly request
you
Correct word choice
that you
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to
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apply
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take
a
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apply
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strict action against the
driver
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. And
It
Correct pronoun usage
I
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 would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could ask
you
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your
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 drivers to inspect the buses before starting their routes. I hope you will consider these suggestions and
will
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apply
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maintain your
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
show examples
 services. Yours sincerely, Amarpreet.

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task response
Make sure to clearly describe the incident in a bit more detail in the beginning. This helps the reader understand the situation better.
coherence and cohesion
Use more clear and simple links between ideas. This will help your letter flow better.
general
Check spelling and grammar for words like 'February' and 'embarrassment'. It is important for good writing.
positive
You have a clear structure in your letter with a greeting and closing.
positive
You expressed your feelings well, showing how the incident affected you.
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