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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, students are encouraged to live with their families while studying, while in others, students are expected to live on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There are debates across different countries
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about that
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that
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whether
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students
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shall
Verb problem
should
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 live
indepently
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independently
 or
live
Verb problem
apply
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with
families
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.
While
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 there
are
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is are
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 assortment of benefits for
students
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 to rely on
theirselves
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themselves
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, I would argue that
its
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it's
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 better for
students
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 to live with their
families
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. Living on their own provides several advantages for
students
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 to foster
independency
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independence
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, which is of importance in their whole lives. From a daily life perspective,
students
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 living on their own are required to learn practical skills,
such
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 as doing chores, cooking meals, and cleaning houses. Without these skills,
students
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 are tempted to encounter
difficultis
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difficulties
 after they commence the work, as they will juggle between their work and household matters.
Moreover
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,
students
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 living on their own will have a chance to cultivate
the
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apply
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financial literacy, as they need to control their daily costs, prepare for unexpected
expenditure
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expenditures
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 and avoid debts. These skills are crucial to
students
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 no matter in the time of school or
work
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at work
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.
While
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 living alone provides advantages for
students
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, living with
families
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 is a better choice in my point of view. First and foremost, it is commonly believed that family member usually serves as the most significant role models for
students
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. Given the fact that
students
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 spend
enormorous
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enormous
 time with family members, their
families
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 will have more
chance
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chances
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 to correct
students
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' inappropriate behaviours, thereby educating
students
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 to abide by rules.
Furthermore
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, family
also
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 provides
students
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 with mental support. With
this
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 support,
students
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 can resort to their
faimilies
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families
 whenever they
enconter
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encounter
 challenges in schools, cultivating a more stable mental condition. In conclusion, it is undeniable that living with
families
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 is a better lifestyle for
students
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thanks
Punctuation problem
, thanks
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 to the educational and mental
supports
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support
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 provided by
families
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each point is clearly explained and connected to your main idea. This will help readers understand your argument better.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
general writing
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes. Errors can distract from your message and lower your score.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion and provide reasons for it, which is good.
task achievement
You discuss both views, which shows you understand the topic well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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