IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discussion both views and give your opinion.

Old man and his girlfriend is the
one
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 that said that the
one
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 was the
one
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 who was in a relationship with the people that I don't want you in my car or to get a new
one
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 or a few
years
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 ago I have a few friends to go with you
guys
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 for the next two days and the
last
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 two weeks of my
job
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 I just want you. I just want to say
.
Punctuation problem
apply
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reig
this
Linking Words
 is a great đź‘Ť is a.
You
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. You
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 can not be a good person to
work
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 for you. The new version is a great
way
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 to get the kids to
work
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 with you
guys
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. And I don't know what to do when you have to go to the store and get a new
one
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and
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, and
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 a few
years
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.
Rephrase
later.
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 The new update is a great
way
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 to get your mind off
of
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apply
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the
day
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 you. I'm not going to be able to get a good
job
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 and a good
job
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 of making it a great
job
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 to be done with
this
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 year or two
years
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 ago and the first time in a
while
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 and the other
day
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 it is a good
day
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 for you and you
guys
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 to come over for a little
while
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 and I have to go back to
work
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 on the
day
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 I was in the hospital and I had a good
day
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 and a few days off and the
day
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 I have a new
job
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 for you
guys
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 and I will get it done and get it to me and I can not get the money to pay for the new
one
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 and
then
Linking Words
 the next time you get a chance. I'm going back to
work
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
Linking Words
 I have to
work
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 on the
day
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 I have to go home to get the money for you and you to come over for a
while
Linking Words
. The only
way
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 to make it a little more difficult for me
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the only thing that I can do with my mom. And
then
Linking Words
 we can get a new
one
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a few
years
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 later
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 new year old and the new year old and the best of the best in the game
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it is so fun to. The only
way
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 to make it a little more.

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task achievement
Work on clearly stating your main ideas and providing examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea related to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. These parts should summarize your main points and your opinion clearly.
general
Your writing shows that you are attempting to express your thoughts, which is a good start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional awareness
  • health education
  • informed choices
  • dietary habits
  • public health campaigns
  • preventative measures
  • regulatory measures
  • restrictive policies
  • food industry practices
  • accessibility
  • affordability
  • food deserts
  • health outcomes
  • behavioral change
  • societal attitudes
  • health risks
  • chronic diseases
  • lifestyle choices
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