IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The key to solving the environmental problem is simple: the present generation is willing to accept a less comfortable life for the sake of the future generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s world, our planet faces numerous horrible challenges like air
or
Correct word choice
and
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 water pollution and other hazards. There has been an argument that the present
generation
Use synonyms
 is aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and willing to lessen their convenience to help the next
generation
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall highlight my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. In modern life, people choose a comfortable and quick life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the most important thing for them is their personal priorities.
For example
Linking Words
, in the present era, one of the environmental problems is air pollution and
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
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 effect
due to
Linking Words
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
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 fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 almost all individuals
knowing
Wrong verb form
who know
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 about
this
Linking Words
 problem
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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use their own cars for commuting
instead
Linking Words
 of public transportation or cycling because of their convenience. Providing food and accommodation for
this
Linking Words
generation
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
is are
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 important
concerns
Fix the agreement mistake
concern
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 for the globe
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 continued from the past till now. Even though various campaigns are held for preserving our surrounding environment
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 forests, the result is quite the opposite.
For instance
Linking Words
, deforestation has happened from our
father
Check wording
father's
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generation
Use synonyms
 because of farming and providing our staple food like rice, wheat and lamb and building houses.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are sundry reports about Amazon forests, which demonstrate deforestation has been carried on in recent years
due to
Linking Words
 accommodating the needs of the present
generation
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people are more aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 their planet than the previous
generation
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 and contribute to preserving it to some extent, their priority is still their welfare and
do
Correct pronoun usage
they do
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 not care much about the future
generation
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
You included a clear opinion, but your argument could be more developed with additional examples and details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the linking words between sentences and paragraphs to make your ideas flow better.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
positive
Your introduction provides a clear opinion and sets up the essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable living
  • excessive consumption
  • environmental degradation
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable farming
  • waste management
  • policy changes
  • global cooperation
  • balanced approach
  • sacrifice
  • awareness
  • sustainability
What to do next:
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