Some people believe that music is a universal language that can bring people together, while others think that it is a form of entertainment that has little real value in society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that
music
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is an international way of communication that brings
people
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together,
while
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others reckon that it is
a
Correct article usage
an
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entertainmental
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entertainment
source with minimal importance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. I believe that
music
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is important because it can create communities among
the
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apply
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individuals. Some believe that
music
Use synonyms
is a universal language,
this
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is because
music
Use synonyms
in recent years
music
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has become widely spread across
people
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through
modren
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modern
technology.
As a result
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,
this
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created communities of listeners to engage with each other and have conversations about
this
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type of art.
For instance
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, a renowned American artist
Frank
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, Frank
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Sinatra,
have
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has
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gathered
people
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from different
cullture
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cultures
to listen to his
music
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.
In addition
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, those listeners have created Facebook groups to share
his
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their
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old
recoreded
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recorded
live shows.
On the other hand
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, some argue that
music
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has only one purpose, which is entertainment.
This
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mainly
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is mainly
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because an increasing number of singers create
music
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without
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a messege
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messege
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message
or a purpose for the
people
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to benefit from.
For example
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, certain modern rap
music
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focuses only on materialism
which
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, which
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do
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does
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not benefit
the societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
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in any sort of way. In conclusion,
although
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music
Use synonyms
might not be beneficial in some cases, I believe that
music
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can be an international language which can eventually create communities from different cultures around the world.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to include a clearer introduction that outlines both views and your opinion right at the start.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, helping the reader follow your thoughts better.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples and reasons to support your points, as this shows deeper thinking.
Task Achievement
You present a clear opinion in favor of music as a community builder, which is good for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your views well, showing a nice closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal language
  • Cultural barriers
  • Linguistic barriers
  • Emotional bonds
  • Shared experiences
  • Cultural heritage
  • Cultural exchange
  • Therapeutic benefits
  • Psychological impact
  • Mental health
  • Economic value
  • Revenue
  • Employment
  • Economic growth
  • Mass consumption
  • Personal enjoyment
  • Social engagement
  • Leisure
  • Pleasure
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