IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some individuals
suggests
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggest
show examples
 that we should rebuild the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and homes in cities with more urban
buildings
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 others disagree. I think that we should change the old
structrues
Correct your spelling
structures
 into new ones.
However
Linking Words
, if the
buildings
Use synonyms
 were in the rural
areas
Punctuation problem
areas,
show examples
 I believe that we should protect them and keep them as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
. People who believe we should keep the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 think so, because they think that it has a historical style and that we should not disturb it. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
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 a study showed that 68 per cent of the old
buildings
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not
bulid
Correct your spelling
built
 in a safe way
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 means that it has a high chance
to fall
Change preposition
of falling
show examples
 and
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 a lot of damage to both citizens and the
enviromnent
Correct your spelling
environment
 around them. The right idea is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to turn them into historical
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 and protect them.
This
Linking Words
only can
Correct word order
can only
show examples
 happen if they were in a Non-urban
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals who think that we should replace the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 are correct. They believe so for many reasons
Punctuation problem
. Firstly
show examples
firstly
Linking Words
, it will give the city a
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 and beautiful appearance
Punctuation problem
. Secondly
show examples
secondly
Linking Words
 , it will make it
more safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
 for humans to live in the new
buildings
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. Lastly
show examples
lastly
Linking Words
, it will help improve the
enviromnent
Correct your spelling
environment
 by using
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewable resources. In conclusion, the best thing to do with the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 is to
transfare
Correct your spelling
transform
 them from rusty and broken into
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 and
civilized
Use the right word
civilised
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is best to rebuild them
Rephrase
apply
show examples
however
Linking Words
, if they were in a far place from the
city
Punctuation problem
city,
show examples
 it is better to protect them and leave them as a historical structure.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly present both views and your opinion more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar errors as they affect clarity.
task achievement
You have presented both views and given your opinion, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You attempted to include reasons for both sides, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
What to do next:
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