IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

some
Fix capitalization
Some
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countries
Use synonyms
 make
Use synonyms
workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
wage
Correct subject-verb agreement
wages
show examples
 depending on how many hours they
work
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 an example, a waiter gets 4 dollars an hour
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 that makes them
work
Use synonyms
 all day and night long because they need to make a lot of many to pay rents and taxes.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Also
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also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
this
Linking Words
prompoganda
Correct your spelling
propaganda
 is more pressuring when it comes to immigrants since they need to pay more taxes than others.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 some
countries
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 pay enough until the employee gets a raise, and so they need to
work
Use synonyms
 after hours sometimes to prove their
loyality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
 and hard
work
Use synonyms
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
prositive
Correct your spelling
positive
 side of
this
Linking Words
side
Check wording
apply
show examples
is that the
workers
Use synonyms
 will get more knowledge and more
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 out of their job. the negative side is that it might lead to divorce if the worker is married since that their job might build a distance between them and their partner, and
also
Linking Words
 it might cause insomnia since they get less sleep. some companies give their
workers
Use synonyms
 a motive and that might give them a push to
work
Use synonyms
 more and they might sometimes have fun with it, but some companies dont give motives to their
workers
Use synonyms
 and it might lead to them leaving their job and losing money.
at
Fix capitalization
At
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last
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 taxes and rent
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
morr
Correct your spelling
more
work
Use synonyms
 hours.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 health
inssurance
Correct your spelling
insurance
 is expensive
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
need
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the money to help raise their
famlies
Correct your spelling
families
 and
theirselves
Use the right word
themselves
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 for their
childrens
Check wording
children's
show examples
 schools and colleges, so they
work
Use synonyms
 from morning to night every day.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Try to have separate paragraphs for different points.
task achievement
Make sure each point directly answers the question. Stay focused on why long work hours happen and whether this is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas, like 'however', 'on the other hand', or 'for example'.
task achievement
You provided reasons for long work hours that relate to money, which is a key point.
task achievement
You addressed both positive and negative aspects of working long hours, which shows understanding of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
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