A lot of social problems today are caused by teenagers. Many people believe this is because parents don’t spend enough time with them. Do you agree or disagree?

some
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Some
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people think that a lot of social problems today are caused by teenagers.
but
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But
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, many people believe
this
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is because parents
dont
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don't
spend enough time with them.
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however
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However
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,
i
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I
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strongly believe that there are two sides
of
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to
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right and wrong in
this
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discussion.
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to
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To
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begin with, parents these days are more into work
and
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, and
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that can make their appearance in their children less effective since they
dont
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don't
spend time with
eachother
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each other
.
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also
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Also
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, teenagers are in their moody and nonchalant age.
they
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They
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become less immune to feelings
such
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as anger,
anxitey
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anxiety
and depression.
in
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In
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other ways, parents sometimes need to work hard to make a living for their children.
and
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And
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,
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apply
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teenagers need to conquer the hard level of their teenage years.
at
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At
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last
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,
this
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problem is caused by both equally.

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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear introduction that states your opinion. It helps the reader to understand your view.
task achievement
Try to add more examples to support your points. For instance, you can mention specific social problems caused by teenagers.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs to organize your ideas better. This helps the reader follow your message more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check for grammar and spelling errors like 'anxiety' instead of 'anxitey'.
task achievement
You mentioned both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are related to the topic, which is good for understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adverse social behavior
  • formative years
  • unsavory environments
  • mitigate
  • exposed to
  • external pressures
  • oversimplifies
  • peer groups
  • meaningful conversations
  • genuine interest
  • physically and emotionally available
  • underlying issues
  • professional intervention
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