IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below describes the process of recycling aluminum cans

The diagram below describes the process of recycling aluminum cans
The diagram gives detailed information about the
process
Use synonyms
 by which
aluminium
Use synonyms
 recycling
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are eight main stages in which tasks are started with the collection of
aluminium
Use synonyms
 waste. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth noting that all products of the
process
Use synonyms
 are recovered , and nothing will be expelled. Looking at the details, the
process
Use synonyms
 begins when used
aluminium
Use synonyms
 cans are discarded into recycling bins.
Then
Linking Words
, the garbage trucks gather these cans and transport them to the recycling centre. Just before, cans are separated from other materials, it is cleaned to eliminate contaminants, and after shredded. After being compressed into blocks, it is sent to the heating machine.
As a result
Linking Words
, the heating
process
Use synonyms
 melts
aluminium
Use synonyms
, and it is prepared as a liquid of
aluminium
Use synonyms
. It is enclosed with 2.5mm and 6mm thickness for the production of a new
aluminium
Use synonyms
 product. Having been rolled, 74% of
aluminium
Use synonyms
 is reused

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, aluminium with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: