The bar chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

The bar chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.
The bar chart gives information about the
number
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of
workers
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in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.
Overall
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, the
number
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of computer programmers migrating was the lowest during the period,
whereas
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accountants had the highest
number
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of skilled
migrants
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. Starting with accountants,
this
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occupation consistently attracted the most
migrants
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. In 2009, there were around 20,000
workers
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, which increased to 25,000 in 2010, marking the peak.
However
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, in 2011, the
number
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dropped back to 20,000 and remained the same in 2012. Regarding cooks, the
number
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of
migrants
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was 15,000 in 2009, but declined slightly in 2010. In 2011, there was a small increase compared to the first year.
However
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, by 2012, the
number
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fell again to 15,000, showing a fluctuating trend. For software engineers, the figures started between 15,000 and 20,000 in 2009, and rose to 20,000 in 2010, maintaining
this
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level in 2011.
However
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, in 2012, the
number
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decreased back to 15,000.
Finally
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, computer programmers had the lowest migration numbers in all years. In 2009, there were no skilled
migrants
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in
this
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occupation. In 2010 and 2011, the
number
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stayed almost the same, with very few
workers
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. Only in 2012 was there a small increase to 5,000
workers
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, workers, migrants with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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