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Band 5

The quality of computer language translation has improved significantly in recent years. Therefore it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

In the present day, improvement in technology allows people to understand any language instantly.
Accordingly
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, most of the devices,
such
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 as computers, laptops, and mobile phones, consist of apps that help to translate
to
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into
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 the individual’s mother tongue.
As a result
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, some argue that it is not mandatory for pupils to learn foreign languages.
However
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, I strongly disagree with that opinion
due to
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reasons
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the reasons
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 outlined below.
Firstly
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, children can learn and adapt easily to languages
in
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at
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primary
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a primary
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 age, as their cognitive function is better.
Therefore
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, the schooling period is the best time to teach anyone a different tongue.
For example
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, the dedicated students from rural backgrounds, lacking exposure to English, often struggle to learn after reaching tertiary-level education at universities.
Additionally
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, English proficiency is essential to develop
the
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a
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 career as a professional in today’s world. Apart from that, even though most of the writing and reading can be achieved with the usage of technology, for
the
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apply
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speaking and listening, people have to make an effort individually. In fact, there are some apps worldwide that recognise sound,
text
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type
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 it, and convert phrases to the mother tongue.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 takes some time and needs access to the internet.
Sometimes
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Sometimes,
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 there can be situations where you cannot access the internet
due to
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 poor signal strength.
Therefore
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, relying too much on it may lead to embarrassment and disgrace in front of the community. In conclusion, I believe technology is developed to teach people to understand, not to be dependent on it.
Therefore
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, the education of foreign languages is essential for children in their primary school, as it creates better opportunities for them in the long term.

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task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You presented well-structured paragraphs with good topic sentences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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