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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph
illustraets
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 Global
water
Use synonyms
 by sector ( Agriculture, Industrial
use
Use synonyms
, and Domestic
use
Use synonyms
) from 1900 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clear that the
figurs indcated
Correct your spelling
figures indicated
 showed
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 in Agriculture.
In contrast
Linking Words
 , the lower numbers were in Industrial
use
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and Domestic
use
Use synonyms
.
looking
Fix capitalization
Looking
show examples
 at the
line
Punctuation problem
line,
show examples
 we can notice that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Agriculture was in the beginning in 1900 with just under 1000
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it had increased over the
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
, and in 1960
was
Correct pronoun usage
it was
show examples
 almost 1500 and had some fluctuations from 1960 to 1990
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
arrived
Verb problem
reached
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest
number
Use synonyms
 in 2000 with around 3000.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the Industrial
use
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and Domestic
use
Use synonyms
 were almost the same
ove
Correct your spelling
over
 the year
in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
1900
Punctuation problem
1900,
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 they
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 with zero until 1970 the Industrial
use
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and Domestic
use
Use synonyms
 rose by around 500km
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and 300km
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 the Industrial
use
Use synonyms
 was just over 1000km.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by Domestic
use
Use synonyms
 with almost 500km. The table showed
water
Use synonyms
comsunption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 in 2
conutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 in 2000. Looking at the table
to see
Verb problem
,
show examples
 Brazil had the high
number
Use synonyms
 in population with 176 million .
However
Linking Words
,
congo
Fix capitalization
Congo
show examples
 had
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 with 5.2 million . Brazil had 26.500
km
Use synonyms
 in
irrgated
Correct your spelling
irrigated
 land and 300m in
water
Use synonyms
 consumption per person,
while
Linking Words
congo
Fix capitalization
Congo
show examples
 had 100
km
Use synonyms
 in
irrgated
Correct your spelling
irrigated
 land
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and 8m in
water
Use synonyms
 consumption per person.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, number, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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