Some people think that zoos should be banned because they are cruel toward animals. Others believe that zoos should continue since they protect endangered species. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are

arguements

Correct your spelling

arguments

about

captivating

Verb problem

capturing

show examples

wild

animals

Use synonyms

in a place where people can visit the

animals

Use synonyms

should not be allowed

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, some people

belive

Use the right word

believe

show examples

that it would be

benefits

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

since it could protect

animals

Use synonyms

from extinction. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will examine both

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and provide my own opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, keeping wild species in

zoos

Use synonyms

has several drawbacks. As those

animals

Use synonyms

which live in the zoo have limited spaces and

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

could lead to their mental health issues,

espacially

Correct your spelling

especially

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

for wild

animals

Use synonyms

which were born in the natural forest.

For example

Linking Words

, a polar bear lived in the North Pole and was familiar

Change preposition

with

show examples

extreamly

Correct your spelling

extremely

cold

temperature

Fix the agreement mistake

temperatures

show examples

and

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

large

environtment

Correct your spelling

environment

, but

then

Linking Words

people keep it in the

zoos

Use synonyms

where space is limited and

temperature

Correct article usage

the temperature

show examples

is not as cold as in the North Pole.

Hence

Linking Words

, the polar bear may become

depression

Replace the word

depressed

show examples

as it is not

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

used to the area.

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, some animal species in forests are now becoming extinct

that

Punctuation problem

, that

show examples

caused by many reasons

such

Linking Words

infecting

Replace the word

infectious

show examples

disease, being

catched

Correct your spelling

caught

for

selling

Replace the word

sale

show examples

becoming

Correct word choice

and becoming

show examples

prey for other predator

spicies

Correct your spelling

species

. If those

animals

Use synonyms

remain in

Correct article usage

the wilds

show examples

wilds

Fix the agreement mistake

wild

show examples

freely and become extinct.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the balance of

ecosystem

Correct article usage

the ecosystem

show examples

would be

negetive

Correct your spelling

negatively

impacted significantly.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is safer to secure them in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place where we

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

take care of them.

For instance

Linking Words

, the number of herbivores is much more than carnivores, resulting in

reduction

Correct article usage

a reduction

show examples

of opulent green areas where many species depend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

and

consequent

Replace the word

consequently

show examples

Verb problem

leading to

show examples

wildspread

Correct your spelling

widespread

Change preposition

apply

show examples

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

problems. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there may be some

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

for

mental

Correct article usage

the mental

show examples

health of

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

living in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

zoos

Use synonyms

, I

belive

Use the right word

believe

show examples

that the

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

outweigh the

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

bacause

Correct your spelling

because

zoos

Use synonyms

were banned, many issues

regard

Replace the word

regarding

show examples

to ecosystem would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

occured

Correct your spelling

occur

more and more.

s.sasirinavin

Aug 4, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly present your main ideas in each paragraph. Use topic sentences to help guide the reader.

task achievement

Try to provide clearer examples that directly support your points. This will help make your argument stronger.

general

Check for spelling and grammar mistakes, as these can affect your score. For example, 'belive' should be 'believe' and 'negetive' should be 'negative'.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the linking phrases between sentences for better flow, for instance, use 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' effectively.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and presents both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.

task achievement

You have provided some relevant examples to support your ideas, such as the polar bear and ecosystems.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

293 words

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