IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Developing countries should impose high tariffs on imported goods to protect and promote their local industries.

There has been a great deal of heated debate about whether the high
tax
Use synonyms
 rate should be encouraged by the developing countries so as to enhance their native businesses.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 endorse
this
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 idea, others express dissenting opinions. Ultimately, my stance aligns with agreement. One of the bona fide reasons to support my argument is that the consumption rate of local products can be increased with the introduction of high import charges. To be precise, the price of commodities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 likely to increase with the heightened taxes, which makes the foreign items unaffordable for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
.
This
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 situation can crisis in
Correct article usage
the market
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market
Punctuation problem
market,
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enables
Wrong verb form
enabling
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people
Use synonyms
 to depend on products
originated
Wrong verb form
originating
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 from their own nation. Another underlying logic appears to be the development of the local industries. To explain, the more demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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locally made goods can be witnessed with the rise of
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 on foreign goods, which in turn
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
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 more and more
people
Use synonyms
 to initiate
small scale
Use the right word
small-scale
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 and
large scale
Use the right word
large-scale
show examples
 industries. Eventually,
this
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 could lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 surge in individuals’ income and in national GDP. Another persuasive argument is that the higher
tax
Use synonyms
/tariff imposed on materials from
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 nations would gradually foster the self-dependency of a country.
In other words
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, the rapid
tax
Use synonyms
 increments
forces
Correct subject-verb agreement
force
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 foreigners to withdraw business from the host nation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 tense consumer action might be forced to generate resources for themselves, which decreases foreign dependency and improves self-sufficiency.
For instance
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, China has discarded most of its importing business by imposing unaffordable tariffs
–
Punctuation problem
,
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 which turned
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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to
Change preposition
into
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 the greatest creator among whole nations
as well as
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 the largest
exporters
Fix the agreement mistake
exporter
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.
To conclude
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, it is my considered opinion that
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
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to
Change preposition
of
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 extended tariffs is recommended for
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of native industries on account of the fact that it would reinforce the local consumerism
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
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,
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
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 of new businesses, and the self-sufficiency of the country.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a main idea, and clearly connect your ideas to support your argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points more clearly and make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your conclusion restates the main points more clearly for better impact.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using simpler sentence structures to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and argument in favor of tariffs, which shows an understanding of the task.
task achievement
You made good points about local consumption and self-dependency to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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