IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 commuting by motorcar and bicycle. Units
measured
Verb problem
are measured
show examples
 in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 go to
work
Use synonyms
 by bike are
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
 they want to keep healthy and fit and
also
Linking Words
 to experience less
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the major rationale for driving to
work
Use synonyms
 is for
comfortability
Check wording
comfort
show examples
 and location.
However
Linking Words
, cycling to
work
Use synonyms
 is faster than driving,
whereas
Linking Words
 driving is
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
safer.
People
Use synonyms
 prefer to ride a bicycle to their workplace in
other
Use the right word
order
show examples
 to maintain a healthy lifestyle and
fittness
Correct your spelling
fitness
, and to avoid pollution, these accounted for the same proportion (30%).
Also
Linking Words
, 12% of
people
Use synonyms
cycling
Wrong verb form
cycle
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
fast
Use the right word
fact
show examples
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 is compared
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 driving a
car
Use synonyms
 and almost the same reason for choosing
vehicle
Correct article usage
a vehicle
show examples
for
Verb problem
is for
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 safety.
Comfortability
Check wording
Comfort
show examples
 is the number one purpose of commuting by
car
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the percentage
, another
Punctuation problem
. Another
show examples
cause
Check wording
reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing
this
Linking Words
 means of transportation
system
Check wording
apply
show examples
is
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
cover
Verb problem
accounts for
show examples
 almost a quarter of
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 for using
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 to go to
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the need to transport loads to
work
Use synonyms
 accounted for 14% why
people
Use synonyms
 decided to use
motorcar
Correct article usage
a motorcar
show examples
. Only 2% difference in the use of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
, in terms of how fast they are (14% and 12%)
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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