IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Public libraries should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media sich as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

In our contemporary life , major concern has been paid to
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libraries
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library
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 resources . Taking into consideration the significance of
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libraries
Fix the agreement mistake
library
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books
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 , I totally advocate the point of view that
i
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I
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 disagree
due to
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 many people prefer high-tech
media
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 . Even though it has been proven that it has negative
aspect
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aspects
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such
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, such
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 as
technology
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 addict. It
also
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 has many positive aspects
like
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, like
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 it has different
way
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ways
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 to learn, and
Verb problem
is esay
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esay
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easy
 to use. The
cental
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central
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 discussion is that nowadays young people get bored
from
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with
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 the traditional learning .
However
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, the high-tech
media
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 has
different
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a different
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 way to learn .
In other words
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 , the
technology
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have
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has
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 many programs like
softweare
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software
, videos and DVDs
became
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become
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pupluar
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popular
 because they learn better with
vidoes ans
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videos and
 pictures.
For example
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 ,
accoding
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according
 to several
researches
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research
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and
Check wording
studies and
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 social studies in the
last
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 few years in the
Middel
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Middle
 East , results have shown that the vast majority of individuals prefer
the
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apply
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technology
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 items .
Thus
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, it is
certanly
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certainly
 the case that high-tech
media
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 has many
way
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ways
show examples
 to learn. Moving on to another essential
point
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point,
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 it is easy to learn from the
technology
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and
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, and
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 it
save
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saves
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time more
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more time
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 than
books
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.
For example
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 ,if you want to search
about
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for
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the
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apply
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information
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information,
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 you can get it
for
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in
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 a second
,
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. In
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in contrast
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, in
libraries
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books
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, books
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 it will take
for
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apply
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hours or even days
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. Books
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,
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to find, books
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books
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 are good
but
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, but
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it
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they
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is
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are
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 not
enough
Rephrase
as enough
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 as
the
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apply
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high-tech
media
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 .
Hence
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 , it is conclusively clear that high-tech
media
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easy
Verb problem
is easy
show examples
 and helpful to learn .
To sum up
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, I totally believe that the
libraries
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 should increase the resources of high-tech
media
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due to
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this
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 will increase
thier
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their
 income and it is more useful for students. Seen in
this
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 light , I recommended that
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the
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library should increase the resources of
modren
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modern
technology
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
language use
Try to write complete sentences without errors and use the correct form of words.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to support your points. This helps to make your ideas stronger.
task achievement
You raised good points about the benefits of high-tech media.
coherence and cohesion
Your opinion is clear in the introduction and conclusion.
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