IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

This
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 issue is worth considering
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I would like to point out my view about
this
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 topic. Different countries have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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different
problems
Use synonyms
. Our world
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 with every second. Global warming, wars, crimes and other
problems
Use synonyms
 need to be resolved. Let`s discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Firstly
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, we cannot help everyone in the world. We are living in a big world with a huge amount
Change preposition
of hebitation
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hebitation
Correct your spelling
habituation
, so it`s just unreal. But in my opinion, every person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to grow up with a strong position.
With
Change preposition
On
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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one
side
Check wording
hand
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, we are not able to change
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 , but we can share our thoughts with other people.
For example
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, if we talk about global warming , we have to teach other people
don`t
Verb problem
not to
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 pollute our
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. Pay attention
on
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to
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 recycling waste. If we talk about wars , we need to make a decision about
position
Correct pronoun usage
our position
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. Share
truly
Replace the word
true
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 information
in
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on
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 social media. In
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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ages
Add a comma
ages,
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 it`s very powerful guns. Sometimes problem seems very complicated , but we can do
this
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 step by step.
Secondly
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, if we talk about helping
loccaly
Correct your spelling
locally
 and
be
Wrong verb form
being
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concerend
Correct your spelling
concerned
 with only
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
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 communities and
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
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it`s
Verb problem
it
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 can be possible for urgent
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. We can help
resolved
Wrong verb form
resolve
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 some
problems
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
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financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 or health area. But we need to remember about
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
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 needs. In conclusion , we should
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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on
Change preposition
about
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 the global
problems
Use synonyms
while
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 important to take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
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 communities. We can`t
worries
Replace the word
worry
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 about everything, but we are able to
small
Verb problem
do small
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 things which help to change the general view. Don`t
afraid
Verb problem
be afraid
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take
Verb problem
to take
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 more responsibility for our future.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have clear topic sentences for each paragraph so readers can follow your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple and direct sentences to express your ideas clearly.
task achievement
Try to give specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can make your writing hard to understand.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is important in an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
What to do next:
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