IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days many people prefer online shopping to conventional shopping. Do the advantages of online shopping outweigh the disadvatages?

internet
Fix capitalization
Internet
show examples
enter
Correct subject-verb agreement
enters
show examples
 every
sections
Fix the agreement mistake
section
show examples
 in trading
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 online shopping. Many people have
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
advantages and disadvantages to shopping online. In my opinion, I am used to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 from
websites
Use synonyms
 because I find what I need from any place. First and
forest
Use the right word
foremost
show examples
, there are many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to shopping online, one of them is
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, if you need some products from the market , you don't need to go to super
market
Use the right word
supermarket
show examples
 and search ,
then
Linking Words
 wait in a long line to
buy
Verb problem
pay for
show examples
 the bill.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 you can do another
action more active
Correct word order
more active action
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, studies in
Cambridg Universuty
Correct your spelling
Cambridge University
 in 2000 showed that there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of people who
use shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
show examples
 online. Another advantage is the discounts that
websites
Use synonyms
 offer.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many users wait
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 offers to buy many products in law price .
For example
Linking Words
,
friend
Correct article usage
a friend
show examples
 of mine is used to
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefiting
 from the offers
To
Fix capitalization
to
show examples
 buy every
thig
Use the right word
thing
show examples
 she needs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are disadvantages to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites
Use synonyms
 which is untrust , that
means
Verb problem
is
show examples
most
Punctuation problem
, most
show examples
websites
Use synonyms
puplished
Correct your spelling
publish
 a good
produce
Use the right word
product
show examples
 with
shiny
Correct article usage
a shiny
show examples
color
Use the right word
colour
show examples
, so when the
shipping
Replace the word
shipment
show examples
 arrives, we
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not see the same
color
Use the right word
colour
show examples
 or
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 quality.
Additionally
Linking Words
, sometimes shipping
Verb problem
is lates
show examples
lates
Correct your spelling
late
 more than the
time
Use synonyms
 that
website
Correct article usage
the website
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, one day our
frind
Correct your spelling
friend
 invites us to have fast food ,so we wait
much
Correct word choice
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and when the food
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
, we don't see
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 meals that our
frinds
Correct your spelling
friends
order
Replace the word
ordered
show examples
. In conclusion, there are
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
such
Linking Words
 as saving
time
Use synonyms
 and
mony
Correct your spelling
money
buy
Use the right word
by
show examples
 offers , and
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
 like untrust and bad features.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. State your opinion in the first paragraph more clearly and make it stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'however', 'in addition') to help the flow of your essay. It will make it easier to read.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point. You have some good ideas, but they need to be more focused and developed.
Task Achievement
You have pointed out both sides of online shopping well, which is important for this topic.
Task Achievement
You have included some personal examples, which can make your essay more engaging.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: