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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The bar chart illustrates the results of a survey about the habits of
people
Use synonyms
's
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea buying and drinking in five Australian cities
respectively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two cities, Sydney and Melbourne, where
people
Use synonyms
tended
Verb problem
are
show examples
 more likely to go to
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
teas
Fix the agreement mistake
tea
show examples
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks than any other
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 in the rest of the cities,
include
Replace the word
including
show examples
 Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart, the
proportions
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
did not show a significant difference
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the ones of
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 brought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 in Sydney and Melbourne who used to go to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks take up large
proportions
Use synonyms
 among all citizens, about 61% and 63% respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the
proportions
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who brought fresh or instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 are less
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 around 44% and 45% in Sydney and 43% and 48% in Melbourne. The
proportions
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who brought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks remain the smallest compared with
another
Use the right word
the other
show examples
 two habits, with around 34%, 34% and 38% in Brisbane, Adelaide and
Hobart
Punctuation problem
Hobart,
show examples
 respectively. The
proportions
Use synonyms
 of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two habits, with no
significantly
Replace the word
significant
show examples
 differences, are about 53% and 55% in Brisbane, 50% and 49% in Adelaide and 54% and 63% in Hobart.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, proportions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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