IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The bar chart illustrates the findings of a poll about people's
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea
consumption
Use synonyms
 patterns in Sydney， Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, and
Hobart
Use synonyms
. 
Overall
Linking Words
，Sydney, Melbourne, and
Hobart
Use synonyms
's
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
 are predominant in
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchasing. Except in Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, where
coffee
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 relatively smaller.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
's
coffee
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 pattern is the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
smallest in the bar chart. 
According to
Linking Words
 the provided chart, café visits constitute the predominant form of
coffee
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 among Australians. Specifically，Sydney（61%），Melbourne（64%），and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 (63%)
all are
Correct word order
are all
show examples
 outnumbered
60
Change preposition
by 60
show examples
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Sydney
account
Correct subject-verb agreement
accounts
show examples
 for fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 merely for 44
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.，much less Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
. 
By contrast
Linking Words
, the highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 patterns in Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
Verb problem
have even
show examples
even not
Correct word order
not even
show examples
surpass
Wrong verb form
surpassed
show examples
 55
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 yet. At the bottom of the
consumption
Use synonyms
, purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 accounted for the smallest proportion at precisely 34%, marginally below the 35% threshold.
By comparison
Linking Words
,
consumption
Use synonyms
 rates for instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 and café visits maintained virtually equivalent percentages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, consumption, adelaide, hobart with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: