IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Museum
Fix the agreement mistake
Museums
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 and art galleries are essential for preserving cultural heritage and educating the public.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that these situations should primarily focus on their own country’s works,
other
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others
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 believe that displaying international artworks can enrich
visitor’s
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visitors’
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 experiences. In my opinion, both types of displaying are important, and a balanced approach is the most beneficial. On the one hand,
emphasizing
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emphasising
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 cultural heritage can help preserve and disseminate local
cultural
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culture
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. Exhibitions focus on local patrimony, fostering a sense of national cultural identity and pride among citizens.
For example
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,
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
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 that
showcase
Correct subject-verb agreement
showcases
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 traditional arts and historical
artifacts
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artefacts
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 can educate people about their nation’s
roof
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roots
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.
This
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 is
especial
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especially
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 vital in preserving unique cultural disseminate in
context
Correct article usage
the context
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 of
globalization
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globalisation
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.
On the other hand
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, international works are equally valuable.
Exposing
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Exposure
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 to world art and history helps to
branch out
Verb problem
broaden
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 knowledge about
Correct article usage
the cultural
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cultural
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cultures
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 of different countries and promotes understanding between nations.
For instance
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, when visitors in
VietNam
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Vietnam
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 have the chance to see traditional Japanese woodblock prints or African sculptures, they gain insight into different histories and values.
This
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 cultural exchange helps people appreciate diversity and may even inspire local artists with new ideas. In conclusion,
although
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 national exhibits are crucial for cultural preservation, museums should
also
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 feature international works
t
Correct your spelling
to
 broaden
visitor’s
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visitors’
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 horizons and encourage cultural exchange. A
balanced
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balance
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 between the two is ideal for enriching public education and fostering global connections.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or details for your ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument which is good.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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