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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sector - agriculture, manufacturing

The graph below shows the contribution of three sector - agriculture, manufacturing
The supplied bar graph demonstrates the contribution of three departments
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 included agriculture, manufacturing and business and
fincial
Correct your spelling
financial
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 from 1900 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that agriculture was
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 significant sector in
early
Correct article usage
the early
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1950
Correct your spelling
1950s
, but it became the smallest contributor by 2000. The most
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
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 point is that from 1900 to 1950,
arigulation
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 had the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 contribution among the three sectors.
However
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,after 1975, its contribution declined sharply and eventually became the lowest..
In contrast
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, the
contribtion
Correct your spelling
contribution
 of business and
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was originally the
lowest
Punctuation problem
lowest,
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 surpassed both agriculture and manufacturing by 2000. Another salient feature is that
although
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 the share of manufacturing decreased gradually, it remained relatively stable for much of the century and even became the leading sector at one point. It is
also
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 interesting to note that the total percentage contributed by these three sectors declined over time, suggesting that other industries may have emerged or the economy became more diversified.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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