Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

There is a debate over how fashion is essential for our
life
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, some
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. Some
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say that fashion items have sides that can change our
life
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,
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.
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I believe that we should spend money on other useful things which can help us improve our future
life
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. On the one hand, today
many
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, many
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people become more competitive and materialistic , and they tend to spend their earnings on buying expensive products, which shows their value and helps to improve their self-confidence.
For instance
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, they visit shopping centres with their friends to buy brand new and expensive clothes, which can boost their mood and give them more confidence when they wear them.
Additionally
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, clothes
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are
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really essential for business owners because they should show their personality with their smart clothes and they can show their respect on business platforms.
Therefore
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, they should always pay attention to their garments.
On the other hand
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, becoming more materialistic leads to a financial burden. If people make endless purchases, they will face financial issues.
For example
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, many individuals spend most of their budgets on buying expensive goods, and they don't have any choice but to pay for beneficial items
such
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as education or
making
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apply
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a future career.
Additionally
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,
this
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trend might cause consumerism and wastefulness.
Such
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as Many individuals prefer to purchase a lot of outfits after some period, people realise the fit, material, or style doesn't suit them once they try it on at home, and they don't want to wear it again.
Therefore
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, buying many wardrobes may negatively affect an individual's
life
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and lead to financial problems. In conclusion,
although
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garments have important roles in our lives, we should use our earnings sparingly and spend them on the right and profitable things.

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task achievement
Try to make your main points clearer and more detailed. Each point should connect to your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion in your introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You discussed both views, which shows good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
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