IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary society, the enhancement of science
technology
Punctuation problem
, technology
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 and living quality has rendered cars an indispensable component in our everyday existence.
However
Linking Words
, the increasing
amount
Check wording
number
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 of cars has caused severe traffic and pollution
problems
Use synonyms
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
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 in recent years.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is widely believed that increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 is the best way to solve the growing
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems
Use synonyms
 above. Personally, I fully oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 viewpoint. First and foremost,
there're
Use the right word
there are
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 still various occupations
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 bus drivers and truck drivers
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 live on driving. Increasing the
price
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 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 means increasing their living and working
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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 dramatically and
thus
Linking Words
 reducing their income, leading to the decline of these jobs. What's more, these
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
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 occupations are playing a fundamental role
of
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in
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 maintaining the material supply of the whole city
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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bonds
Verb problem
is linked
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 to the development of both economy and technology.
Therefore
Linking Words
, increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 may lower the quality of citizens'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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as well as
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 impede urban development. As far as I'm concerned, the fundamental cause of growing traffic and pollution is the surge
of
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in
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 the
amount
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number
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 of private cars.
Hence
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, I personally believe the key is for the government to provide more approaches for citizens to choose
instead
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 of driving.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government can provide
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
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 and enhance the facility and efficiency of buses and subways, cities near rivers and coasts can develop renewable energy
ferry
Fix the agreement mistake
ferries
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 to
release
Verb problem
relieve
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 the pressure
of
Change preposition
on
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 transportation. In summary, given the
problems
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 increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
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 to people's lives and
Correct article usage
the flourish
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flourish
Replace the word
flourishing
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 of the city, it's absolutely not the best way to solve traffic and pollution
problems
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 developing substitution of
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
show examples
 is a more effective way.

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structure
Be clear in your view from the start and keep it in every paragraph.
content
Give one main reason per paragraph and add a real example to support it.
structure
End with a short, clear conclusion that restates your view.
language
Use simple linking words to show how ideas relate and to move from one point to the next.
task
Clear view against the idea.
coherence
Some good ideas on other ways to cut traffic and pollution.
coherence
There is a plan to explain the topic with more points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
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