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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the spending (in dollars) per household in the US on five different products in 2010 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the spending (in dollars) per household in the US on five different products in 2010 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates information concerning the expenditures in America per house
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 food, clothes,
books
Use synonyms
, smartphones and toiletries in 2010 and 2014. Units are measured
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the biggest money
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
spend
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on food.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
books
Use synonyms
 were the minority
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
. In 2010,
people
Use synonyms
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 paid for food the most, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost 3750
dollars
Use synonyms
. The expenditures for clothes were the second
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
 were 2500
dollars
Use synonyms
. The amount of money
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
paid for smartphones and toiletries that were 2000 and approximately 2000
dollars
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
books
Use synonyms
 were the least that
people
Use synonyms
 spend only 1000.
Move
Wrong verb form
Moving
show examples
 to 2014,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
still
Verb problem
was still
show examples
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the first one that
people
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it over
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
4750
dollars
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 year
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 paid for smartphones and toiletries more than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 were slightly more than 2500 and 2000
dollars
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. The money that
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
bought
Verb problem
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 clothes
as well as
Linking Words
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, only
books
Use synonyms
 that were paid less than 2014 were 500
dollars
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, dollars, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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