IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today’s society,
thank
Correct subject-verb agreement
thanks
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the succeed
show examples
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
 of
technology
Punctuation problem
technology,
show examples
 agriculture has many significant growth.
However
Linking Words
, there are lots of
people
Use synonyms
 around the
world haven’t
Correct word order
worldn’t have
show examples
 enough
food
Use synonyms
 to eat.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, the roots of
this
Linking Words
 problem
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 originated from fast
population
Use synonyms
 growth in some countries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 is expensive
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 should be
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
show examples
 by enhancing
policy
Use synonyms
 of
population
Use synonyms
and
Check wording
policies and
show examples
 supporting
people
Use synonyms
 who go hungry. The key reason behind
this
Linking Words
 issue is
Use synonyms
population
Correct word choice
that population
show examples
 grow fastly lead to
food
Use synonyms
is not
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enough
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
to share
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, when a place has
hefty
Correct article usage
a hefty
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 common
be
Verb problem
to be
show examples
 poor and
bad
Correct word choice
have a poor
show examples
 living quality.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 in India go hungry because
this
Linking Words
 country has
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cost of
food
Use synonyms
 is increasing
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 so that some
people
Use synonyms
 with
low-income
Use the right word
low income
show examples
Verb problem
do have
show examples
have not
Correct word order
not have
show examples
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to purchase
food
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
food
Use synonyms
 which produced
high
Change preposition
with high
show examples
 technology and
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 process is
costly
Punctuation problem
costly,
show examples
includes
Replace the word
including
show examples
 rice, meat, etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, the cost of rice in Vietnam
Verb problem
has increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 in recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
Linking Words
hence
Punctuation problem
; hence
show examples
, many
people
Use synonyms
 don’t have enough money to buy rice and go hungry. The most
recomment
Correct your spelling
recommended
 solutions for
this
Linking Words
 problem are enhancing
Use synonyms
policy
Correct article usage
the policy
show examples
 of
population
Use synonyms
 and supporting hungry
people
Use synonyms
 with
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
policy
Use synonyms
.
Gorvement
Correct your spelling
Government
 should
depict
Verb problem
implement
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
policy
Use synonyms
 which can decrease
population
Use synonyms
 growth
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as families have
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of children more
than
Correct word choice
who
show examples
suggestion
Check wording
apply
show examples
will pay taxes for gorvement.
Moreover
Linking Words
, unemployment
is lead
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to poor and.

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task response
Task response: The essay tries to answer why people go hungry and how to fix it. It needs a clear plan. State the reason first, then the solution. Give one or two real examples.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use a clear form. Intro, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have one main idea. Use linking words to show how ideas go together.
content
The topic is on hunger and is used in the essay.
structure
Some examples are given, like India and rice cost in Vietnam.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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