IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As the technology is developing, agriculture has
also
Linking Words
 improved
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
 quality and production.
However
Linking Words
, there are parts of the world where humans are still
starve
Wrong verb form
starving
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem and give some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to deal with it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the primary contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is the poverty of some
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 around the world. Many countries
such
Linking Words
 as Angola or Lebanon are suffering
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the expense of produce, as they don’t have the ability to grow their own vegetables and raise
cattles
Correct your spelling
cattle
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they have to buy it from
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the unstable of allocating
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some domestic
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
also
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of
food
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, taxes and prices are increasing, so it will affect the
food
Use synonyms
 prices. To deal with that problem, we have three main
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should lower the
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 and taxes for selling produce. By
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the prices, the
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 will purchase
food
Use synonyms
much
Rephrase
more
show examples
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the cheaper
food
Use synonyms
 would feed some people in the
area
Use synonyms
 with a little charge,
allows
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
 them to save money or cure the pain.
Second,
Linking Words
the globe should help and encourage other countries which are still poor and do not have the advantage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 producing
food
Use synonyms
 with
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 machines.
Third,
Linking Words
we should allocate the proportion of
food
Use synonyms
 for some
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 around the globe.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps provide a clear roadmap for your readers.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas. This can make your writing flow better and help your readers understand your points.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your ideas. For instance, mention specific programs or initiatives that have successfully reduced hunger in certain areas.
task response
You present the issue clearly and show that you understand the problem of hunger in the world.
task response
You provide some potential solutions, which is a good way to engage with the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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