IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is better to live in a city than in a rural area. Others argue that life in the countryside is preferable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been considerable debate regarding whether it is preferable to reside in rural areas or urban places.
Although
Linking Words
 both perspectives have their own unique benefits, I am more inclined to believe that urban living is more advantageous. One compelling reason to
favor
Use the right word
favour
show examples
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it offers a peaceful and
quite
Use the right word
quiet
show examples
 environment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be more beneficial for mental health. Residing in a rural village
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
show examples
 atmosphere and access to fresh and organic produce.
For example
Linking Words
, one of the main
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living in village areas is
Correct article usage
the absense
show examples
absense
Correct your spelling
absence
 of constant noise of the city.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , beautiful scenery in villages
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of belonging and
relaxed
Correct article usage
a relaxed
show examples
 lifestyle.
In contrast
Linking Words
, cities are filled with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 range of paths and deliver
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
 amount of
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for personal and professional development.
Moreover
Linking Words
, living in
urban
Correct article usage
an urban
show examples
 area supports educational activities,
such
Linking Words
 as studying at universities, colleges and various professional training programs. Educational varieties create
foundation
Correct article usage
a foundation
show examples
 for abundant job
opputunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, financial stability and so on.
For example
Linking Words
, most popular universities like Oxford, Cambridge are
establighed
Correct your spelling
established
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban living area
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 make that location
access
Replace the word
accessible
show examples
 to world-class facilities. Personally, I am firmly
believe
Verb problem
convinced that
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 the rural villages have their own
suppoting
Correct your spelling
supporting
evidences
Fix the agreement mistake
evidence
show examples
 to
favor
Use the right word
favour
show examples
, cities are better
reagrding
Correct your spelling
regarding
 their convenience, offering the state of the
heathcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 facilities and cultural activities. As there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 vast range of educational institutions, job prospects and different personal development activities from courses to restaurants, cityscapes are better for
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
 of living and availability of services provided.
To sum up
Linking Words
, as some argue regarding the
preferabilty
Correct your spelling
preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 municipal regions over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pastoral regions,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am prone to believe that dwelling in cities is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 option for obtaining growth
oriented
Use the right word
growth-oriented
show examples
 lifestyle.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, but the ideas in the paragraphs could be clearer. It would help to have a more organized structure.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully. Adding more examples and explanations will strengthen your argument and make it clearer.
task achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • rural
  • job
  • opportunity
  • life
  • service
  • hospital
  • school
  • transportation
  • culture
  • community
  • peaceful
  • nature
  • outdoor
  • activity
  • health
  • well-being
  • career
  • growth
  • connection
  • belonging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: