The use of phones,tablets, and other devices while walking in public places has been a concern for many commentstors. What hazards can arise if people are guided by such devices when walking down the street? How could these problems can be solved?

Have you ever thought about individuals using devices when they are walking down the street or in parks
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Acutually
Correct your spelling
Actually
,
this
Linking Words
is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
extremely confusing topic that many countries suffer from . The problem will be discussed in both ways causes and
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
has many causes . First of all , some
people
Use synonyms
nowdays
Use the right word
nowadays
show examples
don't think deeply or in a wise way. That makes them like
sheeps
Correct your spelling
sheep
they
led
Verb problem
are led
show examples
esaily
Correct your spelling
easily
by others .
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is responsible for many problems .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, social media content
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
bad behaviours .
Also
Linking Words
, bad friends lead to the bottom of the hall .
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
can not live one moment without their electronic devices . Others feel that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
their social life will be destroyed if they aren't online for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
minets
Correct your spelling
minutes
. Fortunately, there are some solutions that can solve
this
Linking Words
hug
Use the right word
huge
show examples
issue
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should boot
roules
Correct your spelling
rules
that help in decreasing the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
using devices
ehile
Correct your spelling
while
walking .
Also
Linking Words
,
rising
Use the right word
raising
show examples
awereness
Correct your spelling
awareness
though
Use the right word
through
show examples
edocstion
Correct your spelling
education
and media helps
people
Use synonyms
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
the
issue
Use synonyms
and act wisely .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
familys
Correct your spelling
families
should teach
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
kids the
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
they are facing when doing
such
Linking Words
a
dangrous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
thing
while
Linking Words
walking.
At the end
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
and
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
must take
this
Linking Words
problem
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious
Replace the word
seriously
show examples
way
Check wording
apply
show examples
so the
huamen
Correct your spelling
human
can survive . The
issue
Use synonyms
has
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
causes and
sulotions
Correct your spelling
solutions
both
Punctuation problem
, both
show examples
of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
were discussed . These are just some of them . I
delieve
Correct your spelling
believe
that we are all involved and responsible .
Evryone
Correct your spelling
Everyone
should do
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
best to solve
such
Linking Words
a massive problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
general writing
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes before finishing your essay.
task achievement
You raised important issues related to device usage while walking.
task achievement
You suggested practical solutions, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preoccupied
  • Immediate surroundings
  • Potential hazards
  • Oncoming traffic
  • Uneven pavement
  • Collisions
  • Social interactions
  • Sense of community
  • Mental health
  • Over-reliance
  • Legislation
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Restrict
  • Distraction
  • Mindful walking
  • Infrastructural changes
  • Pedestrian lanes
  • Enhanced safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: