The use of phones,tablets, and other devices while walking in public places has been a concern for many commentstors. What hazards can arise if people are guided by such devices when walking down the street? How could these problems can be solved?

Have you ever thought about individuals using devices when they are walking down the street or in parks

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Acutually

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Actually

this

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show examples

extremely confusing topic that many countries suffer from . The problem will be discussed in both ways causes and

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the solution

show examples

solution

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solutions

show examples

This

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issue

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has many causes . First of all , some

people

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nowdays

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nowadays

show examples

don't think deeply or in a wise way. That makes them like

sheeps

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sheep

they

led

Verb problem

are led

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esaily

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easily

by others .

Secondly

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the

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apply

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society is responsible for many problems .

Furthermore

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, social media content

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that

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apply

show examples

is full

with

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bad behaviours .

Also

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, bad friends lead to the bottom of the hall .

However

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, some

people

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can not live one moment without their electronic devices . Others feel that

the

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apply

show examples

their social life will be destroyed if they aren't online for

same

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the same

show examples

minets

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minutes

. Fortunately, there are some solutions that can solve

this

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hug

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huge

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issue

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First,

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the

goverment

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government

should boot

roules

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rules

that help in decreasing the

amount

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number

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people

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using devices

ehile

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while

walking .

Also

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rising

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raising

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awereness

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awareness

though

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through

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edocstion

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education

and media helps

people

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understanding

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understand

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the

issue

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and act wisely .

Moreover

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familys

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families

should teach

there

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their

show examples

kids the

risk

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risks

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they are facing when doing

such

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dangrous

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dangerous

thing

while

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walking.

At the end

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people

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and

goverments

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governments

must take

this

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problem

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apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious

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seriously

show examples

way

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apply

show examples

so the

huamen

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human

can survive . The

issue

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has

differnt

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different

causes and

sulotions

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solutions

both

Punctuation problem

, both

show examples

them

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which

show examples

were discussed . These are just some of them . I

delieve

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believe

that we are all involved and responsible .

Evryone

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Everyone

should do

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

best to solve

such

Linking Words

a massive problem.

n.alyateem

Aug 6, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

general writing

Check for spelling and grammar mistakes before finishing your essay.

task achievement

You raised important issues related to device usage while walking.

task achievement

You suggested practical solutions, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Preoccupied
Immediate surroundings
Potential hazards
Oncoming traffic
Uneven pavement
Collisions
Social interactions
Sense of community
Mental health
Over-reliance
Legislation
Awareness campaigns
Restrict
Distraction
Mindful walking
Infrastructural changes
Pedestrian lanes
Enhanced safety

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The use of phones,tablets, and other devices while walking in public places has been a concern for many commentstors. What hazards can arise if people are guided by such devices when walking down the street? How could these problems can be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?