IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, governments spemd large amounts of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however think that this money would be better spent on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.

The use of taxpayers'
money
Use synonyms
 to spend on
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
 is prevalent in many countries. The governments should spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more on
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 rather than
arts
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with the statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there are many reasons for
such
Linking Words
viewpoint
Correct article usage
a viewpoint
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 are basic requirements of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is going to have
impactful development more
Correct word order
more impactful development
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. If
health
Use synonyms
 is developed
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
performance
Correct article usage
the performance
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 of a person increases
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
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lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to better output and progress.
Similarly
Linking Words
, working in the
education
Use synonyms
 field
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to more awareness and investment in research,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is important to invent new means of communication. So , it is really important to
priortize
Correct your spelling
prioritise
 these fields and these are going to bring
far outreaching
Use the right word
far-reaching
show examples
 differences.
However
Linking Words
, investing in
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 work in favour of people. But, the government should be really thoughtful
to spend
Change preposition
in spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only where there are favourable chances of returns.
For instance
Linking Words
, some historic places are so memorable that people visit from every corner of the world
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 The Taj Mahal
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it results in
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local vendors and high employment chances for the tourism sector.
Although
Linking Words
, in some cases, governments waste
money
Use synonyms
 building random things which are forgotten and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 capital gets ruined. In conclusion, the sectors like
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 are really significant
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there should be no second thought towards spending from
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 when any allotment of
money
Use synonyms
 is proposed for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
arts
Punctuation problem
arts,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 all the important specialists should be consulted to have the cost and benefit analysis. If
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 all of them agree
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
should
Correct pronoun usage
it should
show examples
 be considered
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; otherwise
show examples
otherwise
Punctuation problem
otherwise,
show examples
 that funds
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to be better used for more important sectors.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce your main idea and stand in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words for better flow between ideas (e.g., furthermore, however, for example).
task achievement
Ensure that you give specific examples that clearly support your points.
task achievement
You have a clear viewpoint and you support it well with reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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