IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The line graph demonstrates the proportion of people dwelling in urban areas in four distinct Asian countries between 1970 and
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
 with
projection
Correct article usage
a projection
show examples
 over the next 20
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the urban population for all countries had
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
show examples
 Malaysia is expected to have the highest number by 2040, Thailand will
lead to
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the lowest number among others.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the number of
Malaysian
Replace the word
Malaysians
show examples
 who
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in cities recorded at 30% in 1970. After an initial fluctuation, it rose significantly
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 approximately 75% in 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is going to witness a gradual climb to about 58% by 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the figure for
Indonesian
Fix the agreement mistake
Indonesians
show examples
 started from almost 12%
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1970 and increased sharply to 50% in 2020.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is anticipated to grow notably at 60% by 2040. Turning to
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 regions,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 recorded 31 % in 1970 and over the next 30
years
Use synonyms
 it experienced a significant oscillation, reaching 45% in 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will have gone up to 50% over the next 20
years
Use synonyms
. In the same way, Thailand started from around 19% in 1970and observed a sharp rise to 30% in 1990. Over the next 30
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it stayed stable, and it is projected to increase, reaching nearly 50% by 2040

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: