IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The first pie chart illustrates the percentage of Australian household
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in
water
Use synonyms
 heating,refrigeration,other appliances,lighting,cooling and heating.The second pie chart depicts Australian household
green house
Use the right word
greenhouse
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 result from
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,heating
consumption
Use synonyms
 records
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 share in the
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.At the same time,
water
Use synonyms
 heating
constitute
Correct subject-verb agreement
constitutes
show examples
 the largest proportion of the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
,heating dominates the major percentage with 42%.
Linking Words
moreover
Fix capitalization
Moreover
show examples
,
water
Use synonyms
 heating accounts for 30% of the
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 heating makes up 32% of the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
heating
Fix capitalization
Heating
show examples
 of
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 is lower than that of
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 15%. In the case of refrigeration,it constitutes 32% of the
gas
Use synonyms
 emission and
higher
Verb problem
is higher
show examples
 than that of the
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
(7%).15% of the
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 is on other appliances,which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
makes up 28% of the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,lighting constitutes 8% of the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 than that of the
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
(4%).Notably,Cooling constitutes the smallest share of the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
(3%)
larger
Punctuation problem
, larger
show examples
 than that of the
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
(2%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use, water, gas, emissions, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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