IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

Currently, there is much discussion with regard to
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
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for
Change preposition
on
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money
Use synonyms
 management. It is argued that students do not know
to
Rephrase
how to
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 manage their
expenditures
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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after
their graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
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 and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 issue will be discussed in
this
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 essay.  Nowadays, people believe that their kids do not have
Correct article usage
the knowledges
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knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 to
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 their
money
Use synonyms
 after their already finished school.
Firstly
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, some
schools
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 might not teach students
Rephrase
how for
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for calculating
Change preposition
to calculate
show examples
expenditures
Use synonyms
 and income to
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 shortages.
For example
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, all subjects in
schools
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 are targeting to enter universities ,which
not
Verb problem
do not
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 bond with essential soft skills
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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money
Use synonyms
 management.
However
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,
money
Use synonyms
 saving is extremely significant when they are adults.
Secondly
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, some teachers believe
this
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 skill should be taught by their
parents
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, some families believe
this
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 might already
taught
Verb problem
be taught
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 in the
schools
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the solutions for
this
Linking Words
 problem must be
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
show examples
 by
parents
Use synonyms
 and
school
Correct article usage
the school
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reasons
Check wording
apply
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.  To start with, every school must increase lessons about
money
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or
Correct word choice
and
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expenditures
Use synonyms
 in society subject.
Secondly
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, it is
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 to
tech
Use the right word
teach
show examples
 them. To illustrate, mothers or fathers might show their incomes and
expenditures
Use synonyms
 to
calculating
Wrong verb form
calculate
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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that they have positive or negative
money
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 and
showing
Wrong verb form
show
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
how to prevent it.
Lastly
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, children must study by themselves on the internet.  All things considered, subjects in
schools
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 and
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
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 lessons are the cause of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 major problems because kids
are
Verb problem
do
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 not know about
money
Use synonyms
as well as
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 their
parents
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 or their teachers ,who
already
Verb problem
are already
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have
Verb problem
apply
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responsible for taking care
Use synonyms
money
Change preposition
of money
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.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 is their responsibility to solve
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 problems.

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task achievement
Make sure to stay on topic and clearly express your ideas on the reasons and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear connections between your ideas and paragraphs to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammar and sentence structure to make your points clearer. This includes correct use of articles and verb tenses.
task achievement
You identified both reasons and solutions to the issue of money management education.
What to do next:
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