IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the parents of children who commit crime should also receive a punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

In
cotepmporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 life , major has been given to
Use synonyms
punishment
Replace the word
punishing
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
 if they commit
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
. Taking into consideration the
siginificance
Correct your spelling
significance
 of
punishment
Use synonyms
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 totally advocate the point of view that individuals should
punish
Wrong verb form
be punished
show examples
 as children if they commit
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
. Even though it has been proven
that it has
Wrong verb form
to have
show examples
 negative aspects.
However
Linking Words
 , it has lots of positive aspects
such
Linking Words
 as they will become more
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
on look
Change preposition
for looking
show examples
 after their
kids
Use synonyms
 , and the
kids
Use synonyms
 will be more
polit
Correct your spelling
polite
. The central discussion is that we need to reduce the number of
Use synonyms
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
,
thus
Linking Words
, when the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
punish
Correct subject-verb agreement
punishes
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 for what their
kids
Use synonyms
 did , they will become more
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them, by
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 after them.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
according to
Linking Words
 several
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
and
Check wording
studies and
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 social studies in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few years in the Middle East ,
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 have shown
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 countries that have
this
Linking Words
 role the numbers of
Use synonyms
kids
Fix the agreement mistake
kid crimes
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
lower
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
 , it is certainly the case that reducing
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 by
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 a
punishment
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 too . Moving on to another essential point ,
kids
Use synonyms
 become more
polit
Correct your spelling
polite
, because lots of children do not want their
parents
Use synonyms
 to get hurt .
However
Linking Words
, when they want to do
anything
Punctuation problem
anything,
show examples
 they will
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 first
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , there
ia
Correct your spelling
is
 a story
was
Correct pronoun usage
that was
show examples
puplished
Correct your spelling
published
 in
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
 it was about
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who kiled
show examples
kiled
Correct your spelling
killed
 someone
, when
Punctuation problem
. When
show examples
 the police took her father with her , she cried
Correct article usage
a lots
show examples
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
show examples
 for her father until she died.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
show examples
 it is conclusively clear that the
kids
Use synonyms
 will be
afried
Correct your spelling
afraid
 to hurt their
parents
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I totally believe that
receive
Wrong verb form
receiving
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 for the
parents
Use synonyms
 of their
Use synonyms
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
will be helpful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, and it will reduce the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of crimes. Seen in
this
Linking Words
 light , I recommend that
this
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 role should be adopted.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion or thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with a main point for each.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar to make sure your ideas are easy to understand.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and develop some points to support it.
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