IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports that are played in teams, such as football, while others believe that participating in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The question of whether it is more beneficial to participate in team-oriented or individual
sports
Use synonyms
 has been widely debated.
While
Linking Words
 teamwork helps members to coordinate,solo
sports
Use synonyms
 foster self-discipline. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine both perspectives before sharing a reasoned conclusion. First of all, collective
sports
Use synonyms
 promote coordination and communication skills. Strategic discussion among the athletes leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shared responsibilities during the game
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 their
overall
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 performance.
Moreover
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, strong bonds strengthen their consistency. Players with a sense of belonging demonstrate greater commitment and motivation.
Conversely
Linking Words
, solo games give versatile opportunities that group-based
sports
Use synonyms
 like basketball lack.
To begin
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 with, athletes can
customize
Use the right word
customise
show examples
schedule
Correct pronoun usage
their schedule
show examples
 depending on their own choice.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals with a tight timetable might find it hard to fit in the group games as their schedule is fixed. Another worth mentioning factor is
importance of the
Correct word order
the importance of
show examples
 self-discipline. Unlike in group activities,
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
 like swimmer counts on their own abilities without struggling
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
teammate’s
Check wording
teammates’
show examples
 performance. Few distractions can improve personal
accountibility
Correct your spelling
accountability
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, team-based games foster social interaction and collaboration,
while
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 solo
sports
Use synonyms
 amplify one's concentration and independence
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 format cannot provide. Choosing between them depends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal goals and preferences.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main point of the essay. You can add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words more effectively to show how your ideas connect. This will help the reader follow your thoughts better.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your main points briefly and clearly to reinforce your argument. This will help summarize your essay better.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
What to do next:
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