Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is an ongoing debate
for
Change preposition
among
show examples
others researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
other researchers
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
about
musical
Correct word choice
whether musical
show examples
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
should be a part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Change preposition of It seems that
preposition
Correct article usage
the preposition
show examples
use may be incorrect here. show examples
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
schooling process.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss my opinion
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
statement, for their emotional states, and for their IQ.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
musice allustrates
Correct your spelling
music illustrates
a positive energy for kids,
in other
Linking Words
words
Punctuation problem
words,
show examples
this
Linking Words
will
let
Verb problem
make
show examples
them
more happy
Wrong verb form
happier
show examples
and
much
Change preposition
in much
show examples
better mood when they have a
musice
Correct your spelling
music
class.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the instruments it is linked to improve the emotions, and tend to let the children disclose what they
thinking
Verb problem
are thinking
show examples
about.
For instance
Linking Words
, the vast majority of countries that have art classes,
such
Linking Words
as piano learning, are
more happy
Correct word choice
happier
show examples
nations, compared to those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
do not have art courses.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, art has a significant improvement on the students' IQ. To explain more, the
musices
Correct your spelling
music
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to brain cells by increasing their number. So, that would
let
Verb problem
make
show examples
them
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
smarter,
in addition
Linking Words
, they are
possibile
Replace the word
more likely
show examples
to get higher scores in mathematics and hard subjects.
For example
Linking Words
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
facilities
Check wording
apply
show examples
that
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
toaght
Correct your spelling
to
Verb problem
use musiceal
show examples
musiceal
Correct your spelling
musical
tools regularly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
better grades than schools that do not teach the arts. In conclusion, there are a lot of benefits why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
totally agree with
this
Linking Words
idea. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, teaching music instrument tools
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
great
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
show examples
on the brain,
as well as
Linking Words
on their emotions. For recommendation, the learning facilities should have at least 2
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
for arts to improve the
puplis
Correct your spelling
pupils
IQ.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Be clear and close to the task. State your view in one line in the intro and restate in the end.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
cohesion
Link your ideas with easy words like 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
content
Give real and easy examples. Do not say things that are not easy to prove.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Check common spell errors and use correct forms.
vocabulary
Keep to simple words from the top 100 by using basic words for all nouns and verbs.
content
The essay has a clear view that music should be in school.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
content
You try to use examples to back up your view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • music
  • instrument
  • learn
  • school
  • child
  • student
  • lesson
  • class
  • benefit
  • brain
  • memory
  • focus
  • discipline
  • confidence
  • creativity
  • teamwork
  • practice
  • skill
  • option
  • choice
  • optional
  • cost
  • time
  • space
  • teacher
  • group
  • play
  • sound
  • song
  • beat
  • mood
  • health
  • joy
  • culture
  • art
  • growth
  • development
  • plan
What to do next:
Look at other essays: